Cupcake Hands

I have a not-so-secret addiction to reality TV. I confess that I enjoy peaking into the private lives of other people. Exploring the underside of human nature is so intriguing to me, especially when it is not my life that is being examined in a public forum. The other day I came upon a series entitled, "Toddlers and Tiaras" on my Netflix recommendation list. As with any new reality series that I begin watching, if I enjoy viewing the first episode, I am then pulled into the reality vortex of watching the entire season, often in one sitting. Thus, within a matter of a week and a half, I am the proud (maybe?) viewer of all three seasons of the show.

"Toddlers and Tiaras" is like watching a train wreck occur– you know you should look away but you cannot help watching the impending disaster about to take place. This show chronicles the lives of "pageant families", those who have their sons and daughters, of all ages and stages, participating in the pageant process at both the local state and national levels. Often these families spend hundreds and thousands of dollars to have their children go up on a stage and be judged for their facial beauty, poise, and expensive clothes. Kids parade across the stage, doing the perfect turns and twirls, with perfect "cupcake hands" all aligned in a posture of grown up grace, with smiling eyes, fake teeth and coiffed hair….The message that I heard from several of the families and judges were, "Society judges you on physical beauty so you must be beautiful to have a successful life. Beautiful people have easier lives." Some of these children enjoy the process, some do not, and most of them are ill-mannered, entitled, and spoiled.

What I find amazing about the show is the reasoning these parents use to justify having their young children compete in pageants. They believe that pageant participation, over time, will instill confidence and strength in their girls. This will then improve their chances of becoming famous and successful later on in life. How does being judged on physical beauty improve one's self-esteem? How does having a "glitz" look of make-up, glittering gowns, hair extensions, spray tans, manicures, and fake teeth emphasize real beauty? What happens when the make- up comes off and the applause of an audience dies down? What happens when they DON'T win? There is only emptiness, insecurity, and self-loathing.

In no episode was there mention of teaching these young ladies to serve others, to think of others before themselves, to have compassion on other people and to use their intelligence to create their own promising futures. The media already bombards young women with messages on the importance of fame, wealth, sexiness, and physical perfection. Now, the battlefield has entered these homes. I am afraid for this next generation of women as they are being taught to attain an ideal that can never be realized, they are being reared to compete with other women, rather than collaborate with them, and they are being told that they are entitled to be admired by society.

Yesterday was International Women's Day and, across the globe, women were celebrated for the impact they were making within their families, communities, and governments. There are moms who are building businesses in third world countries to provide for their children and for the lives of those around them. There are women battling valiantly with cancer, fighting to both survive and to leave a lasting legacy behind for their families. There are women who are taking in children from the foster care system and giving them a safe place in which they can thrive at all levels of development. There are women studying in school to accomplish their dreams of becoming doctors, lawyers, business executives, teachers, psychologists, authors, etc.

Let's have our young women find their self-esteem and value in service to God and their communities, rather than on a pageant catwalk in front of hungry, ambitious parents. Let's stop cupcake hands and create hands that love, serve, and extend out to those in need. These are the kinds of hands I want to see impacting the world for generations to come.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:25-30